Gluten Free?

For various reasons I decided a few weeks ago to try a gluten free cleanse to see if a few issues would clear up. Lets be honest, you are wondering about my "issues" but you really don't want to talk about poop right? With some hits and misses and a whole lot of brown rice things are turning around slowly. Progress might be faster if I stuck to the plan better but who knew the evil gluten is in EVERYTHING Candy! I love gummi candies, Twizzlers, sour candies, and they are full of fracking gluten! Salad Dressing! Canned tomato soup! I mean tomato soup????? what is the purpose?

Speaking of Movies.....

I seem to have fallen behind the rest of the world when it comes to gaming and DVRs, I can say that I may be the only person I know that has never owned a game system of any kind, and have only recently gotten my own laptop and signed up for Netflix. I mean, how have i survived? I don't know, but i think the question is how does the rest of society survive? How, with the constant access to technology do people get anything done? I mean, I have had a cell for years, mostly smart phones, but after becoming a parent i realized that my phone got in the way of my relationship with my daughter. How are our children expected to develop any connection to us when we are constantly staring at a screen instead of them? I am constantly seeing things on Facebook saying things like, I used to play outside till the lights came on, that's the way it should be. But that's a different way of life. More families were single incomes, more moms stayed home, more family members like grandparents and aunts lived in house or nearby. Kids were safer, and parents, and kids alike had more time together. What will our children have to say about us? Will they say we danced in the rain? rode bikes? read stories ourselves no tech involved, taught them how to cook, to bake, went berry picking how amny kids will actually have more than just a handful of scattered memories where we are actually in their lives? The best thing I can do for my daughter is turn off the television, the computer, the cellphone and get down and play barbies or puzzles or make cookies for tea parties with her. At the time I wrote this my daughter was sleeping.

Single Parenting and The Ability to Pee Alone

Ok so the downsides of being a single parent are staggering, but there are some no one thinks about, like going to the bathroom. No one tells you that for the next 12? or so years you will no longer be able to pee alone, take a shower or a bath without someone wanting to join, or talk , or visit. Movies! no tells you that without paying exorbitant fees for a baby sitter and the movie prices, the only movies you can see are G,PG. You will never leave the house looking your best and get to your destination looking the same. No one tells you. There is no there when you are sick, no one to help when you need a nap. And you will need a nap. The dishes, the laundry, working, playing , and setting rules alone, you know being a single parent will be hard, but no one tells you how much. Most of, I miss going pee alone.

Starting Over

Okay, so college! Yes I know I will get a ton of flack for going to an Online college but it fits my needs, currently car-less and job hunting I need the freedom to set my own hours. University of Phoenix seems like a good fit, plus it fits one of my requirements, no entrance exams. I doubt I could pass. its been a long time since High School, and while I was never very good at it in the first, the school i went to didn't require me to take several of the classes a a regular high school would have. Ahh, did I forget to mention I went to an Alternative High School? For me the alternative was no school. I went through a difficult time in my life and very easily could have been a dropout, I did in fact dropout 2x. Anyway it all adds up to having a lack of confidence in my own abilities, and I am the type of person if i examine things too closely, I don't follow through. Hence no entrance exam. If I failed or barely passed, I would have more insecurities than just jumping in or at least that's the theory. So once again I am jumping in with my eyes half closed, wishing for the best, and I wonder why my life doesn't work out? lol. I feel like I am starting from scratch, that I have to learn everything all over again, and I wonder, does everyone feel some version of this? or is it just me?

Single Parenting

So tomorrow my daughter, goes with her dad. Which means next week, the week I start college will be awful. He only spends 5 hrs with her, but when she comes back she thinks she should get everything her little heart desires. And she throws fits when she doesn't. Unfortunately, this happens to a lot of single parents, the full time parent, has to be well, the parent. We have to say no, set boundaries, enforce the boundaries, and not always serve pizza ice cream and chicken nuggets. Lets face it, the full time parent comes across as not much fun, even when try to be fun. The occasional parent isn't really a parent are they? No bed times, no saying no, fun games and treats. It is not fair that all of us that teach and play and cook and clean and worry and love get the least credit. So for all the parents out there in a similar place, remember you are by no means alone and in the end, what are children will cherish most are the memories of us, tucking them in bed, reading the stories, showing up at school events, and always being there for a hug and a shoulder to cry on. The fun occasional parent will be remembered for missed visits, disappointments and false promises.

Life as a Flower

Hi, I think I should introduce myself, I am a 28 soon to be 29 year old single overweight, first time college student. Nice to meet you. You can call me Cellie. No that is not my name, but I like it better than my own and who doesn't fantasize now and then about shucking off the old shells of who we are and recreating what we wish we could be? For me I wish that i could be thinner, calmer, smarter, more confident, a better mother. Some days I wish I was a hibiscus growing on Maui warm in the sun, with no cares no worries other than absorbing the warmth of the sun. Weird huh? After all, of all things I could choose, superheros, superstars, fantasy creatures I wish to be a plant. Think about it, what is better than dozing in the same and fresh island breezes? I m sure more a few people can relate. Let me know :)

windfall

Being on the brink of financial ruin for the last year has certainly taught me a few lessons. Coupons unless you are a super obessive person aren't worth much. Homemade soup is versatile far stretching and exceedingly boring. Take the breaks when you can and when/if you get an unexpected windfall make the most of it.

New Year, New Disappointments

So many people start blogs on the first of the year. They want to document all the hopes and wishes, expectations and resolutions. I bet most won't last 3 months. People get distracted, get busy with their everyday lives and forget that they wanted to document it. Or and I think this happens more often, people get disappointed with themselves, with the results, they in essence give up. We tend to forget that life is ever evolving, ever changing and that the New Year really should be about New Beginnings. We forget that nothing new comies without hardship, without tears, pain. Take Life for instance. Birth is messy and painful can easily get complicated real fast and it takes 10 long months. It doesn't end there though. It takes months to get your body back if you ever do and you've got a lifetime commitment. Dirty diapers are just the beginning. If you apply that to starting something new, well its no wonder people give up. Rewards of sticking with it aren't always that easy to see or to know. Stick with it anyway. Love anyway. Exercise Anyway. Don't give up. Push through it. Because if you make it you get the brass ring, even if its just knowing you didn't give up.