Cats pinterest and cookies. Also.. Goodbye to grammer, this is all voice to text rambles.

no one reads this thing and honestly I haven't tried to post anything in years. the reason why I came up on a personal 10-year anniversary so I thought I'd say something about it it's been just over 10 years since I'm he's in a real relationship with a real human being not just talkin online her even on the phone but real holding hands kissing sex yes it has been 10 years since I have had sex exactly 10 years March 15th try explaining that to anyone that you dated I mean they always want to know my last relationship and I'll tell them how it's been awhile or try to put them off and say oh yeah Max and I eventually I tell the truth and I'm ever since I hit that two-year Mark people just look at me funny like not having sex with another person makes you weird sorry I was raising my child on my own and working and dealing with a broken heart at first and then it just time just kept passing and now people think like I said they think that is weird people think it's weird that I haven't had sex I like what is wrong with you think well haven't actually paid enough attention to the male species 2 have had sex let's face it talking to people having relationships meeting people at work you don't really want to meet people at work because then things just get awkward if it doesn't work out you want me to go to the grocery store because then can't shop there anymore if it doesn't work out when you have a kid come on try finding a babysitter you're not just going dutch you're paying for the kid try finding somebody that's worth being introduced to your child when you rub like I did and you had a dad and two step dads and just none of them are wonderful people none of them were great role models and all of them are happily playing my past I just don't want to leave that Legacy for her butt the holiday says she needs a male role model in Disguise her father is narcissistic and oblivious and well just still involved it could be so much worse but 7 is better than that home here it is and I don't know if anyone's going to read this one either but because I have no idea what I'm doing this blog is simple and boring and well maybe I should just say cats lots of cats cats are involved here cats and recipes with cookies because seriously what else do we searched for on Google except cat videos recipes for cookies that 99% of his don't actually end up making a Pinterest ideas that 99% of us will never end up either starting or and or completing so cats cats Pinterest Pinterest maybe someday someone will find this I realize just how pathetic life can be

Gluten Free?

For various reasons I decided a few weeks ago to try a gluten free cleanse to see if a few issues would clear up. Lets be honest, you are wondering about my "issues" but you really don't want to talk about poop right? With some hits and misses and a whole lot of brown rice things are turning around slowly. Progress might be faster if I stuck to the plan better but who knew the evil gluten is in EVERYTHING Candy! I love gummi candies, Twizzlers, sour candies, and they are full of fracking gluten! Salad Dressing! Canned tomato soup! I mean tomato soup????? what is the purpose?

Speaking of Movies.....

I seem to have fallen behind the rest of the world when it comes to gaming and DVRs, I can say that I may be the only person I know that has never owned a game system of any kind, and have only recently gotten my own laptop and signed up for Netflix. I mean, how have i survived? I don't know, but i think the question is how does the rest of society survive? How, with the constant access to technology do people get anything done? I mean, I have had a cell for years, mostly smart phones, but after becoming a parent i realized that my phone got in the way of my relationship with my daughter. How are our children expected to develop any connection to us when we are constantly staring at a screen instead of them? I am constantly seeing things on Facebook saying things like, I used to play outside till the lights came on, that's the way it should be. But that's a different way of life. More families were single incomes, more moms stayed home, more family members like grandparents and aunts lived in house or nearby. Kids were safer, and parents, and kids alike had more time together. What will our children have to say about us? Will they say we danced in the rain? rode bikes? read stories ourselves no tech involved, taught them how to cook, to bake, went berry picking how amny kids will actually have more than just a handful of scattered memories where we are actually in their lives? The best thing I can do for my daughter is turn off the television, the computer, the cellphone and get down and play barbies or puzzles or make cookies for tea parties with her. At the time I wrote this my daughter was sleeping.

Single Parenting and The Ability to Pee Alone

Ok so the downsides of being a single parent are staggering, but there are some no one thinks about, like going to the bathroom. No one tells you that for the next 12? or so years you will no longer be able to pee alone, take a shower or a bath without someone wanting to join, or talk , or visit. Movies! no tells you that without paying exorbitant fees for a baby sitter and the movie prices, the only movies you can see are G,PG. You will never leave the house looking your best and get to your destination looking the same. No one tells you. There is no there when you are sick, no one to help when you need a nap. And you will need a nap. The dishes, the laundry, working, playing , and setting rules alone, you know being a single parent will be hard, but no one tells you how much. Most of, I miss going pee alone.

Starting Over

Okay, so college! Yes I know I will get a ton of flack for going to an Online college but it fits my needs, currently car-less and job hunting I need the freedom to set my own hours. University of Phoenix seems like a good fit, plus it fits one of my requirements, no entrance exams. I doubt I could pass. its been a long time since High School, and while I was never very good at it in the first, the school i went to didn't require me to take several of the classes a a regular high school would have. Ahh, did I forget to mention I went to an Alternative High School? For me the alternative was no school. I went through a difficult time in my life and very easily could have been a dropout, I did in fact dropout 2x. Anyway it all adds up to having a lack of confidence in my own abilities, and I am the type of person if i examine things too closely, I don't follow through. Hence no entrance exam. If I failed or barely passed, I would have more insecurities than just jumping in or at least that's the theory. So once again I am jumping in with my eyes half closed, wishing for the best, and I wonder why my life doesn't work out? lol. I feel like I am starting from scratch, that I have to learn everything all over again, and I wonder, does everyone feel some version of this? or is it just me?

Single Parenting

So tomorrow my daughter, goes with her dad. Which means next week, the week I start college will be awful. He only spends 5 hrs with her, but when she comes back she thinks she should get everything her little heart desires. And she throws fits when she doesn't. Unfortunately, this happens to a lot of single parents, the full time parent, has to be well, the parent. We have to say no, set boundaries, enforce the boundaries, and not always serve pizza ice cream and chicken nuggets. Lets face it, the full time parent comes across as not much fun, even when try to be fun. The occasional parent isn't really a parent are they? No bed times, no saying no, fun games and treats. It is not fair that all of us that teach and play and cook and clean and worry and love get the least credit. So for all the parents out there in a similar place, remember you are by no means alone and in the end, what are children will cherish most are the memories of us, tucking them in bed, reading the stories, showing up at school events, and always being there for a hug and a shoulder to cry on. The fun occasional parent will be remembered for missed visits, disappointments and false promises.

Life as a Flower

Hi, I think I should introduce myself, I am a 28 soon to be 29 year old single overweight, first time college student. Nice to meet you. You can call me Cellie. No that is not my name, but I like it better than my own and who doesn't fantasize now and then about shucking off the old shells of who we are and recreating what we wish we could be? For me I wish that i could be thinner, calmer, smarter, more confident, a better mother. Some days I wish I was a hibiscus growing on Maui warm in the sun, with no cares no worries other than absorbing the warmth of the sun. Weird huh? After all, of all things I could choose, superheros, superstars, fantasy creatures I wish to be a plant. Think about it, what is better than dozing in the same and fresh island breezes? I m sure more a few people can relate. Let me know :)